I don’t do much of it.
Since I can remember, sleep has never come easily for me. Those close to me can attest to this. I don’t sleep at night. But I do sleep all day. This is a fact that bugs me a lot more than I let on. I’m not quite sure what it so hard about sleeping for me. Wait. I suppose the better question should be, I don’t see what’s so easy about sleeping. I toss and turn, watch movie after movie, read book after book, and hey, let’s just say if stores were open late at night, my to-do lists would virtually disappear.
But that’s not how it is.
Here’s how it is: it’s 2:18, and I’m sitting here typing this, and because it's 2:18 that's probably why it sounds like this. I suppose my mind just came without the “off” switch that so many others seem to have come (blessed) with.
I can't fall asleep most nights.
Leads to very cool blogs though. And very random thoughts like these:
*BEWARE TO THE FAINT OF HEART, THESE THOUGHTS WILL NOT DARE TO BE SENSICAL, LOGICAL OR EVEN SPELLED RIGHT*
you were warned.
- Is it just me, or is everyone turning into a photographer these days? There's nothing wrong with it, I'm all about capturing moments visually. It just seems popular. Trend alert. Just remember, a camera does not a photographer make. (not to discourage, merely state a fact) Hey, go shoot em, Tex.
- Just came up with a new blog post (not about ubiquitously budding photographers), but of something different. shall save for later. just a steph.y.i.
- I'm now thinking about my mom pulling up my blog tomorrow and saying, "2:35 AM, Steph?" Not in an angry way, nor in a disappointed way, but in a we-need-to-get-on-that-new-sleeping-pill-prescription way.
- Still listening to this song and imagining what movie it could soundtrack (because that's what I do with literally almost every song). The strangest thing came to mind: It would be perfect to quietly narrate us lather our toast with nutella in the servery at the Centre in London. For some reason, this song brings to mind the pale blue tint of the high lights reflected off of dreadfully plain tables after a long, cold night, where the only thing provided to warm you is hot nutella toast and hot chocolate packets that make your stomach bubble and your teeth itch. With coats, even sometimes hats, scarves and gloves still on, I remember not being able to get warm nutella toast fast enough. Well, this song fits that. Please excuse my momentarily rambling.
- That leads me to another thought though. I think this is so strange, but songs bring to mind colors. A song doesn't always make me feel a certain way, or think certain things, but almost always I associate colors to songs. Shades of deep purples, blues and greens come to mind with The Format. Deep blue and grey with sparkles of bright oranges and reds with Bon Iver. Just ask me sometime, ok? That may make more sense.
- Gone With the Wind gets sadder as you get older. It gets sadder and more pitiable (I know that's not the word I'm looking for, but hey, it's what I'm putting down). The beautifully tragic break down.
- There were a lot of deaths involving horses in Gone With the Wind. Just another reason to help me nail more boards into my "No Horses Allowed" fence I keep around me at all times.
- Despite all of her other flaws, I admire Scarlet for her fearlessness. She tackled everything with her head held high. That's pretty cool. Gotta write that down. Oh, here we go!
- I miss being on an outdoor competitive soccer team just so I could go at there and run not just to get in shape, hit girls and not feel bad, fall hard onto the grass and fight to get back up, feel how awesome connecting passes together feels, harnessing that first touch, and hearing the ball in the back of a net: either one of the best, or one of the worst sounds. Don't quite know what to do about it.
- Mother Nature, I asked for SNOW not SMOG. Close, but no cigar.
Time for bed now? I don't even want to re-read this post and see the splatters of nonsense. But, well, there they are. Feel as you will.
You know, I don't think I would have written this if I had roommates who stayed up late too. Just a thought. Good night.